Mad in Motherhood

Learning how to embrace our crazy beautiful lives. . . without going mad along the way

12 Surefire Ways to go Completely Mad in Mommydom

4 Comments

I was having one of those days where I was being way too hard on myself for falling short of perfection in every aspect. I was upset with my husband, grumpy towards my kids, and frustrated with myself. Then I realized the reason I feel like I am becoming a mental person is because I AM MAKING MYSELF FEEL THAT WAY! Not my wonderful husband or my precious babies, no one else but me…. And a great big nudge from Satan pushing me in that direction. You see, Satan loves to see us fail. And hurt. And hurt others. But God doesn’t want us to feel/do any of those things. So there I was, being unrealistic with my expectations, ignoring my own limitations, hurting those I love AND pleasing Satan all at the same time. *Open wound. Pour in salt*

I began to pray and ask God to help me to be honest with myself about all of the unhealthy ways that I was behaving and thinking in effort to improve – not beat myself up. He must have heard me loud and clear, because the list came rushing through my mind faster than I could even jot it all down!

These are the reminders that I have to tell myself on a nearly daily basis. Why is it that we get so frustrated with having to repeat ourselves to our husbands and children, and we ignore the fact that we, ourselves, require repetition? It seems like it’s always the good stuff – the encouragement and the reminders that we are only (one) human – that needs repeated the most, too. Momma, I urge you to take note of these things and if you are guilty of any, pray for the ability to make a change. Relax and embrace your imperfect others AND your imperfect self.

This is my current top 12 – I’m sure the list will grow and change over time!
My 1st Blogger-Goal is to make one of these my focus on the first Monday of each month and go into more detail about why these are problems AND help you find the remedies – So be watching for the STOP-THE-MADNESS-MONDAY entries at the beginning of each month!

12 Surefire Ways to go Completely Mad in Mommydom
(followed by a snippet of encouragement)

1. Never ask for help and certainly don’t accept it when offered.
Stop the Madness: Here’s the deal… No one is actually Super Mom – As in a super hero with special powers who can do absolutely everything in half the time it would take an army to, and without breaking a sweat. No one.

MADimagesuper-mom2

Do not try to recreate this image.
I am (almost) certain she was photo-shopped.

2. Have absolutely no sense of humor. When you’re chatting with your new neighbors and they point out that your pre-schooler is peeing on a tree, just be completely mortified. Don’t smile. Don’t snicker. Don’t think about how first impressions mean everything and try to make a joke. Try denying the existence of said child and go dig a whole and crawl in it to save whats left of your dignity.
Stop the Madness: Obviously, peeing on a tree is not the first location, us moms would choose, but imagine what your husband would do in this situation. Mine would bust out a big belly laugh and (hopefully) explain that maybe going inside to the bathroom would be a better choice next time. What’s wrong with a little laughter? It goes a LONG way in the midst of chaos.

3. Treat your husband like he’s less than royalty.
Stop the Madness: Now, I’m not saying you should be washing his feet and feeding him grapes while wearing a toga, but I am saying that he should know that you absolutely adore him. Appreciate him. Respect him. Tell him he’s the sexiest man alive! He will be on cloud nine and without even realizing it, he will start doing the same for you. He may even offer to so the dishes or laundry or clean toilets! THAT is how powerful your love and respect for him is. He is your prince. You’re crazy about him, so tell him!… And tell your kids too. They need to see a healthy picture of relationship and know that mommy and daddy are always on the same team.

MADimage.besthusbandever

Maybe, you could start with buying him this shirt.
(click image)

4. Wait for someone else to apologize first AND/OR offer fake forgiveness – you know, the kind where you ‘say’ the words, but you don’t really ‘mean’ the words.
Stop the Madness: This will hurt you more than you know. God calls us to own our sin. Our mistakes. Our choices. He does not ask us to keep record of everyone else’s faults and wrong-doings. He’s got that under control. God doesn’t need a secretary.

MADimage.Please-Forgive-Me

5. Allow anything and everything to constantly take precedence over your husband and children. Including: laundry, dishes, housecleaning, running errands, hobbies, shopping, television, phone calls, games and social media – to name a few.
Stop the Madness: Make the most of your time with your family when you are there. Find the best time to get the things done that truly need to be done and keep time available to ENJOY your family.  This can be SOOO challenging when you have little ones under foot. Just do the best you can and be content with that.
** Side Note: Hear me when I say that Working moms are not neglectful and that all moms need to take a little time for themselves. YOU need a recharge YOU need to be refreshed so that you could be the best you for your family.

6. Be extremely hard on yourself. Never allow room for error, mistakes, or happenstance.
Stop the Madness: This is a big one. Think about how you treat your friends as moms of young ones. Would you speak to them the way you speak to yourself? No way! You would listen to their dilemma; maybe provide some wisdom and encouragement; and maybe even hug them. Do those things for YOU too! Even the self-bear-hug. Don’t beat yourself up momma! God loves you. God shows you grace. You show others grace. Give yourself a little grace too.

MADimage.AwesomeMom

Seriously, you guys.

7. Always take everything personally. Every tantrum, every mess, every middle of the night crying fest, every sassy mouth, every poop up the back, every tossed dinner, every crumb on the floor, every toy out of place, every… EV-ERY-THING. After all, you are the one raising these little humans.
Stop the Madness: If you think for one second that your little angels are doing these things to make you angry, you are sorely mistaken. Snap out of your narcissistic moment and realize that they adore you and even though you have poured everything within you out for your dear ones, they may just need a smidge more in that moment. You can do it. God will help make sure of it. Just ask him.

8. Always make a plan and stick to it. There is no room for flexibility in this house… Unless it’s coming from someone else! – every time your child or husband steps outside the plan take it as a personal attempt to sabotage you and your efforts to maintain and manage a decent household.
Stop the Madness:  
Seriously?? I know some people who are really good at making plans and checklists and keeping order – I was one of them BEFORE kids. Now, I attempt a plan, but I know it may derail before breakfast. And for Heaven’s sake, that is O.K. If schedules and checklists work for your family, Fantastic! And if they don’t, thats ok too!

9. Pretend you don’t need a break. Attempt to power through by multitasking and handling everything under the sun because the universe may slip out of orbit if you slow down for even a second.
Stop the Madness: 
I have tried (and failed) this one many times but guess what, the universe is still in tact. When you are having ‘one of those days’ – you know the one I’m talking about – it is absolutely ok to have a mommy time out. When your hubby comes home and can see the weary look on your face and offers to help, greet him with a kiss and a smile and graciously accept 5 minutes of peace and quiet alone. In your closet, if you have to. I like to take a diet coke with me when I go.
MADimage.time-out

10. Read every book on parenting and take it Word for Word exactly as written realizing that there is no room for individuality within a family unit. Also, let the people-pleaser within, rise up and take every piece of advice to heart and carve it into your family stone. I give you 3 seconds to go completely MAD.
Stop the Madness: 
Advice and wisdom from other moms are GOOD things, but take everything with a grain of salt. Your family is uniquely designed by God and what works for other families may not work for yours. Its worth a shot to try, but don’t feel obligated to force the ideas and success stories of others into your life.

Square Peg in a Round Hole_0565

It takes a lot of work to make the square peg fit.
It can also take a lot of work to find a round peg…
…But it’s the right fit.

11. Live in fear that your infant will pick up on every kicking and screaming tantrum that your toddler has and use it to their advantage.
Stop the Madness: Honestly, this may actually happen. But chances are it would’ve happened anyways – whether you wear yourself out trying to keep that wee one sheltered or not. After all, where do you suppose the toddler learned such behavior?  We’re all born with sin nature even that sweet little baby.

MADimage.Tantrum

Babies talk. Enough said.

12. Cast judgment and mutter phrases such as ‘I would never do that’ or ‘if she would just do ________, she wouldn’t have that problem’ – only if you want to taste their bitterness later. yuck!
Stop the Madness: 
Pretending to know all the answers for every scenario will only knock you down to size later. Don’t try to use what you know to fix what you don’t know. I have eaten many words from my pre-baby days and trust me, it’s not fun. Humbling, but not fun. I have even chewed on some cynical self absorbed words since becoming a mom, but I am working hard to manage my diet and keep to more wholesome nutrition.

REMINDER: These are the ‘tongue in cheek’ snippets.
My 1st Blogger-Goal is to make one of these my focus on the first Monday of each month and go into more detail about why these are problems AND help you find the remedies – So be watching for the STOP-THE-MADNESS-MONDAY entries at the beginning of each month!

Advertisements

4 thoughts on “12 Surefire Ways to go Completely Mad in Mommydom

  1. Looking forward to following your heart and His wisdom in you in the days to come knowing that the plan may mean that some Mondays may actually become Thusdays on the family calendar of life! Well written and seasoned with love and humor; a sweet insight into the tender and caring heart of my daughter-in-law!

  2. Pingback: Stop the madness #1 – No more Super Mom mentality | Mad in Motherhood

  3. Pingback: Stop the Madness #2 Live.Love.LAUGH… a lot | Mad in Motherhood

  4. Pingback: Stop the Madness #3 – Be your husband’s #1 fan | Mad in Motherhood

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s